CAREER COUNSELING: When you fall in love...

"The person you fall in love with is usually not the same person you divorce"

My friend Megan mentioned this statement during lunch the other day and I thought was a very insightful statement. Now I have never been married and would not presume to give marriage advice (leave that to the professionals). BUT...The idea forced me to reflect on other commitment decisions, for example, when you make a decision to leave or "divorce" your job.

Think about that initial meeting or interview you had. Like a first date, you may be excited about it, really enjoyed the conversation, big smile on your face as you are leaving. Where does this excitement come from? There may have been a few key people on your interview panel that with whom you really connected.  Or they may have shared some exciting project that stuck with you when you made the decision to commit to this job. Whatever it was that you feel in love with sometimes isn't enough to keep the relationship together down the road.

If you have had this experience, you may be thinking to yourself..."How in the world did I think accepting this job was a good idea???"  Don't beat yourself up too much. Just like a relationship with a person, job environments change. The project that you loved may have been short lived, or the person on the interview panel that you connected with may have moved onto a different role. Whatever the circumstances, it's okay to decide to move onto something else if the environment is no longer a fit for you. The best thing you can do is learn from this experience and move forward. The next time you make this decision, make sure you understand what the potential might be for different roles, projects and managers. Get a good look at the whole picture and what the future might look like. Hindsight is 20/20, so you cannot expect to predict everything, just make the best decision you can with the information you have at that time and if doesn't work out, then change it.

Bottom Line:  Don't be afraid to fall in love again, there is another great job out there for you and you deserve to be happy.